Are you adding fuel to your blazing fire?

Not every day is a walk in the park. We’ve all had those moments or those days when it all gets a bit much or you can’t believe what has just happened or been said. How do you react in these situations?

For many extroverts, and even for most people, verbalising your emotions or thoughts is the default position. The reaction you have is what people tend to remember rather than the actual cause of your reaction. Your reaction will be a reflection on you. Getting this emotion under control is harder than we’d like it to be.

Try these 5 simple tips to improve your resiliency:

1. Don’t vent out loud in public

Walking out of a meeting or hanging up a phone and letting the frustration out in front of others is not going to get you your next promotion nor is it going to do anything for what people think of you and your personal brand. Do everything you can to stop that immediate public reaction using the next 4 steps!

2. Choose who you vent to carefully

There are people in your life that all play different roles. Some agree with you on most occasions and help to motivate you and get your adrenaline pumping. These people are great but not in this situation. You need to be speaking to your grounded, level headed calm friends that will be honest and challenge you…. is it really that bad? Are you overreacting? Obviously don’t go to any pessimistic negative mindset friends. These people will really add fuel to your fire when right now you need someone to put out your flames!

3. Stop with the defence

Our natural reaction is to go into defence mode which again will inflame the situation. Pause….if you don’t know about the power of the pause now is a good time to learn it. It’s time to pause, don’t say anything and just listen. Listen to those involved, think about the whole situation and give yourself time to process it and to calm down. More importantly give the other person/s time to vent and calm down cause their fire is currently raging! Again reflection on them, your reaction is the reflection on you.

4. Get some fresh air

Fresh air is so underrated. Take a walk or even just remove yourself from the direct situation to pull yourself together.  Spend the time reviewing the part you played in the situation and how you could have done it differently and how it looks from the outside looking in.

5. Sleep on it

Even better, if you have the ability to pause and sleep on it, a fresh mindset will always change the severity of the situation and your choice for next steps.  Nothing ever seems as big a deal 24 hours later.

So next time your fire is blazing, practice these simple tips but don’t be too hard on yourself. If you can’t control it straight away, when you do manage to reflect and aren’t happy with your reaction, take steps to apologising or clear it up with those involved. Never let your pride be too big to admit when you have a hindsight moment!

About the Author Amy Jacobson

Amy challenges mindsets in people to own their performance and amplify engagement. She is a human behaviour specialist, with 19 years experience of more than doubling engagement and market brand scores. With her balance of tough love and infectious energy, she creates purpose-driven teams who get results! Amy takes people out of their comfort zone, challenge their mindset and help them bring passion and purpose to every work day.