I heard a saying a few years ago that really resonated and I latched onto it: “you can have it all, just not all at once”. I was wrong!
The statement was made in relation that not all of your life can be all that you want it to be at once there will always be something that is sacrificed while other areas are peaking and that’s ok. It pretty much nails the definition of sacrifice: give up (something valued) for the sake of other considerations. Just accept it knowing other areas are doing great and you can’t have everything.
I latched onto this at the time because it was what I needed to hear. It made it ‘ok’ in my mind to sacrifice happiness in some areas and it gave me an excuse. I created that belief, it wasn’t a belief that I was happy with those areas or that I’d accepted it for what it was, it was a belief that I wasn’t happy with them but that I couldn’t possibly be happy with all areas at once because sacrifice needed to happen. How wrong I was!
Life isn’t about sacrifices, it’s about making decisions that you are comfortable with knowing the repercussions of each decision. When you make those decisions you need to understand your true values and beliefs that are driving the decision and where your priorities are at. There is always that feeling of failure associated with sacrifice. Making a decision based on your drivers is a conscious and empowered successful thought. You have weighed it up, prioritised and are happy with the decision you have made. Own your decision – happily!
Here are my 5 simple tips to ending that ‘sacrifice or failure’ and making ‘empowered successful’ decisions:
The Wheel of Life is a basic yet very powerful self-coaching tool that I personally do every quarter to ‘check-in’ on the balance in my life and progress to goals. It’s simply rating each area of your life between 1-10 on where it currently sits with 10 being absolutely perfect. A 10 looks totally different for everyone as it’s based on your own values and beliefs so it’s important when doing it to truly understand what are your values and beliefs, where did they come from, do they make you happy and are they realistic?
Your life needs balance in all areas. Prioritise the balance based on what you value today. This is not a forever decision, this is a today decision. You do what you are happy to do today after weighing up all of the factors. This can change in 1 month, 1 year, 5 years. They are your decisions and therefore you can change them whenever you like but own that decision and be happy with it knowing it is the right one at the time.
This one is obvious yet so hard to master. Life is not a competition. The only competitor in your race is you. All you need to do to win is believe that you are. It really is that simple. The only thing holding you back are your beliefs that your aren’t. So either change your beliefs or step up to the starting block and make the change that is required happen.
My realisation that I’m 40 this year and I’m really happy with everything I have achieved took a little longer than it should have. I’m no longer 21 (although I had my kids convinced I was 21 until I turned 30) and it’s good that my life and body doesn’t look like it did then nor does it need to for me to be happy. Be realistic in what perfect or successful looks like for you. Society’s or others around you idea of perfect will be very different. Perfect health for you might not look like rippling abs on the cover of Fitness magazine.
Ever noticed how the sunrise looks so much nicer when you are up early to go on holidays compared to going to work? Everything seems so much nicer and better when you are in a good mood and doing something you have chosen to do not something you are forced or told to do. Finding your ‘y’ and living with passion will make all parts of your life look so much better. A positive mindset automatically sees the positives first. Your adrenaline and endorphins are powering and you’re on a high. There is no room for negativity or sacrifice.
Sometimes we only hear what we want to hear at the time. What are you currently hearing? Is it helping you or is it a sacrifice? Maybe it’s time to ‘check in’ on your values and beliefs and set some goals to make sure your wheel is rolling nice and smooth.
Amy’s ‘y’ is inspirational leadership and emotional intelligence delivered through corporate consulting, keynote speaking, group training and career coaching. Contact her today through her website to see how Amy can help you find your ‘y’